Cheer up, Charlie

There's something about watching Notre Dame suffer that makes me a little giddy inside. Maybe it's their arrogant student body. No, I don't know enough of them to really care. I'm pretty sure it's their consistently overrated football team. Yeah, that has to be it.

Good old Notre Dame is almost always ranked among the best college football teams in the country. They may be famous for their gold helmets, die-hard fans, and Rudy, but lately they haven't done a whole lot for their football program. I couldn't be a happier Notre Dame hater this season.

If you haven't heard, Notre Dame has started the season 0-3. They haven't even scored an offensive touchdown. (Because I'm an Iowa fan, I'd like to take this moment to point out that we haven't allowed a touchdown this season. Maybe we should play ND.) To add insult to injury, their schedule isn't looking any better either. They play Michigan State this weekend, a team they struggled to beat a year ago. Next comes Purdue and UCLA, followed by Boston College and USC. Yes, USC. It may be premature, but is it possible that Notre Dame might start the season 0-8? Hell, even if they beat two of those teams, we're still talking 2-6, right? Beautiful!

Notre Dame coach Charlie Weis is on the hot seat--sort of. He signed a huge contract extension in 2005, so it looks like he may be around a while longer. It'd be nice if this overrated coach helped this overrated team finish one of their worst seasons ever. But then I realized something. Even if Notre Dame fails to make it to a bowl game this year (you need six wins to qualify), I wouldn't be surprised to see them ranked in the top 10 next season.

Why? Because Notre Dame is always ranked. Always overrated. Always a win (or 12) away from a national championship. So cheer up, Charlie. It'll be okay. And if you're not convinced, hum this excerpt from Gene Wilder's 'Willy Wonka.' It's frightening, but I think it was written for you, Charlie.

"Cheer up, Charlie
Give me a smile
What happened to the smile I used to know
Don't you know your grin has always
Been my sunshine;
Let that sunshine show..."