Sex on the Beach

After reading about the British couple caught “doing the nasty” on Dubai’s Jumeirah Beach, I couldn’t quite decide what my initial reaction to the article was. I certainly felt compelled to laugh above all things. This is the type of behavior that deserves a good slap in the face and a hearty, “What were you thinking?”

First of all, any activity performed on a public beach is obviously very public. A sea of raging hormones isn’t even enough to hinder this very evident fact. Eat a booger on the beach or pick a sand wedgie-everyone is at liberty to see these things, no matter how dark it is outside or how sneaky you think you’re being doing whatever it is that you’re doing.

Second of all, in a place that frowns upon public displays of affection and any sexual activity outside the confines of marriage, it seems that it would be somewhat easy to pick up on these social cues. It seems that it would all come down to a, “You know honey, while we’ve been here, I haven’t seen a single couple holding hands. Come to think of it, I haven’t seen a single couple period.”

As a traveler to a foreign area, especially one with such conservative values, it would seem that these would be things you’d pick up on right away as a tourist: what do these people do all day, how do they behave, how should I act as a guest in their country? I, for one, wouldn’t want to be the one caught walking down the beach eating a bag of potato chips during daylight hours- a very forbidden act since Muslims fast until sunset. Travelers to foreign places are like amoeba under a microscope. Why do anything that would draw attention to you and your partner, not only in the place you’re visiting, but in your home country as well? I can’t say that I’ve ever gone to Miami and seen couples fornicating randomly all over the beach and thought to myself, “Well, that’s normal.”

Maybe it was something in the water. The lesson here: if you want to frolic wildly on a beach, go to Cancun.