Wednesday, May 14, 2008

What's the point?

So, John Edwards is finally endorsing Barack Obama. Great. Yippee. How interesting.


May I ask; what's the point? By waiting until it was totally safe, Edwards' endorsement has gone from what could have been the most important of this race to completely worthless. What's the damn point; does Barry honestly need those few delegates from Edwards? Is he worried?

Don't answer that.

This was a dumb move on Edwards' part. Way to go out on a limb there, Johnny. I'll bet when you go to Vegas you play the nickel slots, but you limit yourself to a dollar a day, right? Don't want to get too crazy. People might think you're a rebel if you moved over to the quarter slots.

/bored with this story

I've got to go get in the shower, John Edwards is having a millennium new years party tonight.

Monday, May 12, 2008

Coconut Road

As a follow-up to my vague reference in my column that annoyed Jon last week, I'm providing a link to that explains the Coconut Road controversy. Apparently an earmark showed up in a 2006 bill after the congress voted on the legislation, but before President Bush signed it. The earmark is for a road in Florida, but was apparently requested by Alaska Rep. Don (Bridge-to-nowhere) Young, the committee chairman. It's an interesting case. The project was not supported by the Florida congressman whose district it would affect, and it was opposed by the local community. But, it would benefit a local real estate developer and donor/fundraiser for Rep. Young. Recently the subject of investigation into this issue has come up in the Congress. It would be nice if there were more media coverage of this egregious earmark and the investigation, but there doesn't seem to be much mainstream political coverage without the word "Obama" or "Clinton" involved. Seems important to me, but what do I know? I'm sure there's some logic to talking about a candidates bowling score and ignoring a $10 million earmark.

Thursday, May 8, 2008

Crass testosterone meets pathetic news story

So some stupid little shit in Connecticut wore his Favre jersey for over 1,500 days in a row.

And now he's finally taken the damn thing off.

Didn't he hear about the lady in Kansas who had her ass grow around the toilet seat over the years? Is the mesh not a part of his biology now, grafted into his pasty skin?

I'd make some really easy joke right now about how wearing the same jersey 1,500+ days consecutively makes him 95% likely to die a virgin, but considering he's a Packers fan I think those odds were pretty much above 90% anyhow.

Look, I'm a Bears fan, but I love Brett Favre as much as anyone else. That said, what the hell are you doing wearing the same thing 1,500 days straight? There are kids in sub-Saharan Africa who have had a more extensive wardrobe in 10 days than you have had in three years of being a Connecticut Packer in Tim Gunn's court. "No, no silly. This simply doesn't work!"

Where is DCFS when you need them?

And just wait...Brett Favre will go tell ESPN soon that he read this story in the paper, and because of this little boy he will (tearfully) end his re-retirement and play next year for Green Bay.


Monday, May 5, 2008

620 ways to use denim

This is hilarious. Mo Rocca and Tim Gunn say what most of us have been thinking about polygamist fashion.

Yeah, so they're gonna put those guys away for awhile. I'd say (jokingly, of course, so keep your words to yourself) that being in a compound with these sultry vixens is punishment enough.

I suppose I should comment on what I think about the rights of the government to go in and take DNA from these people and take their children, or whether or not it just bothers me from a womens rights perspective or an incest angle. Yeah, I'm not gonna do that. This is easier.

Besides, every time I try to concentrate my mind drifts to Iron Man. Damn you, Tony Stark.

My best columns are in my head

Do the other columnists have this problem, too? On a regular basis, I'll see something, read a news story or encounter something that inspires me. I think, "That would make a great column!" Sometimes these ideas turn into mediocre columns, and sometimes they just fade away on my long mental list of things that seem brilliant. Having a column has been a great experience, and it would've been so much better if I didn't have the distraction of having to graduate from college.

The end of the semester is nearly here and most of the inspiring encounters will remain in my head (some of them are better off there.) There's one article that I have to share with everyone. Even though I never ended up columnizing about it, the story needs to be shared. It's from the periodical, "Rethinking Schools" (vol. 22, Fall 2007.)

Brotherly Love? Hardly
After enduring intense public haranguing and threatening phone calls that were said to border on "terroristic," Philadelphia Public Schools has pulled Gay and Lesbian History Month from its official calendar. However, in an effort to be fair, the district also scratched similar diversity recognition months and days, including African-American and Hispanic Heritage months and International Day of Disabled Persons.

In keeping with the spirit of its diversity policy, the district moved to include Gay and Lesbian History Month — celebrated in October — on last year's calendar, the Philadelphia Inquirer reports. The outrage was immediate.

"We were just not prepared for the controversy," Cecilia Cummings, the district's spokesperson, told the Inquirer. "We were besieged by calls, threats, letters, and we didn't have the manpower to staff it. Nor did we have the preparation or training to really figure out how to deal with this issue in a way that could keep kids safe. We had meetings where adults were calling kids names."

The district had received complaints in prior years, but never to the extent seen when they placed Gay and Lesbian History Month on the calendar, Cummings said.
(Fall 2007, "Short Stuff")

I love this story! The school district said, "Alright, that's it - nobody gets a day of recognition!" An argument could be made on either side of the argument of whether to add this to their calendar, but to solve the problem - They're actually treating everyone the same.

The flaw in all of these well-intended days of appreciation is that in calling attention to someone, even in an attempt to celebrate diversity, a divide is created. I know someone who was the only African-American in her high school. She dreaded every February because whenever Black History Month came up in the classroom, all eyes were on her. It didn't make her feel appreciated, it made her feel embarrassed.

So I say, Good for Philadelphia school district for their inclusive exclusion. Treating everyone the same should ultimately do more to bring people together than having George Washington Carver in the curriculum every February.