Thursday, May 8, 2008

Crass testosterone meets pathetic news story

So some stupid little shit in Connecticut wore his Favre jersey for over 1,500 days in a row.

And now he's finally taken the damn thing off.

Didn't he hear about the lady in Kansas who had her ass grow around the toilet seat over the years? Is the mesh not a part of his biology now, grafted into his pasty skin?

I'd make some really easy joke right now about how wearing the same jersey 1,500+ days consecutively makes him 95% likely to die a virgin, but considering he's a Packers fan I think those odds were pretty much above 90% anyhow.

Look, I'm a Bears fan, but I love Brett Favre as much as anyone else. That said, what the hell are you doing wearing the same thing 1,500 days straight? There are kids in sub-Saharan Africa who have had a more extensive wardrobe in 10 days than you have had in three years of being a Connecticut Packer in Tim Gunn's court. "No, no silly. This simply doesn't work!"

Where is DCFS when you need them?

And just wait...Brett Favre will go tell ESPN soon that he read this story in the paper, and because of this little boy he will (tearfully) end his re-retirement and play next year for Green Bay.

Gawd.

2 comments:

Nate said...

I referenced Tim Gunn in two consecutive posts.

/perplexed

Is something wrong with me?

Rob Verhein said...

Oh, Chicago fans...so afraid that Favre will come back for one last season just to dominate Lambeau South.