Sunday, July 2, 2006

Why wouldn't you wrestle?

I’'ve been thinking about professional wrestling. 

There'’s an old story about how Macho Man Randy Savage used to lock his manager/wife, Miss Elizabeth, in a room. Yes. He locked her room in a room. He was afraid other male wrestlers would try to help themselves to her body. When it was time for Elizabeth and Macho to come out for a match, he would unlock her and free her. Because, you know yes.

Macho Man and Elizabeth would go out to his matches together.  Elizabeth would distract his opponents.  She would blow them kisses. Make eyes. Macho Man would go for the pin. Or a kick, when his opponent was looking at Miss Elizabeth.  Macho would smack the other guy. She was, in all honesty, quite a looker.

Savage and Elizabeth were married in real life, as of 1984. Then they were separated, but still appeared together at wrestling events. Then, in 1991, they had a wedding as part of their storyline on WWE (then WWF). At Summerslam, a Pay-Per-View event, they had to stand in the ring with a minister and Elizabeth wore a wedding dress and Savage wore a cape and then he carried her away to the backstage areas of the stadium after the vows were read and the kissed, etc. The next year, their real life divorced was finalized. Yes.

In 2003, Elizabeth was living with former wrestler Lex Lugar in Georgia. She took drugs. It was Xanax she was taking. She took too much. Then she died.

A few wrestlers have died recently.  Eddie Guerrero, Big Boss Man.  Owen Hart fell from the rafters and broke his neck and people at the arena thought it was a gag and cheered. After Owen died, they didn'’t stop the show. They kept wrestling, even though absolutely everyone knows that wrestling is fake. Yes.

Steve Sherman

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