Blogging Ain't Easy

Forced to blog, I hover over my keyboard, a can of Pabst in front of me, a half-empty bag of Cheetos to my side. All around me is dark, save for the ugly flicker of my low-resolution monitor. Caught up in the never ending blogging treadmill, if I don't devise a clever post, write it coherently and publish it before deadline, my iron-fisted editor will surely take notice.

Well, maybe I don't have it so bad, but apparently many bloggers do.

The problem, the New York Times reported in an article earlier this week, is that most bloggers are paid on a per-word or per-blog basis. When ideas sometimes flow slowly and words don't always spew forth, this can lead to a tremendous amount of stress. The crush to publish a huge volume of blogs leaves many bloggers chained to keyboards and monitors for hours on end. Fueled mostly by pop-tarts and mountain dew and with little exercise save for licking the crumbs out of a Pringles can, bloggers health often suffers.

According to the Times, at least three bloggers in the past year have died from heart attacks directly contributed to their unconventional lifestyles. What's most disturbing is the end result of all of this red-eyed, caffeine addled grind work. Blogs, by and large, are inaccurate, illogical, and irrelevant.

Everyone has opinions, and any nim-wit with a dial-up modem and a few spare seconds in their parents' basement can crank out blogs. Sorting out actual journalism from trash becomes a real dilemma.

As I write this blog, I wonder why anyone would want to read this. Enough with the stress, enough with the perpetual push to blog. Shit, wait a second, my sources are telling me Britney Spears was just spotted pooping on an owl. Society must know.....a blog is forthcoming.