Why is Mickey Bleeding?

In yet another instance of outlandish profiteering, C3, an L.A.-based holding company has announced plans to build a $500 million dollar amusement park in Baghadad, directly adjacent to the Green Zone.

The company touts its initiative in humanitarian terms, with spokespeople pointing out that children and families in Baghdad have few "entertainment" options.

Apparently, entertainment doesn't include watching a Sunni's face get blown off, or listening to the soothing chorus of wailing sirens and thunderous mortar rounds.

And, although the amusement park will feature a skateboarding area, the most technologically advanced rides on the face of the earth, and plenty of mind-numbing carnival games, for it's unlucky visitors, it could quite possibly be the world's largest game of sitting duck.

In the past several weeks, the area surrounding the ironically dubbed "green-zone" has been smeared blood-red by violence. Rudimentary rockets have been lobbed over the compound's heavily fortified walls, suicide bombers have struck within blocks of resting G.I.'s, and the once iron-clad oasis of calm has been thrust into a dubious uncertainty.

That anyone, or any corporation, could propose building a sprawling, open-air, multi-million dollar amusement park amid such chaos is preposterous. Insurgents, as it turns out, are an inventive bunch. Give them three paper clips, a barrel of sand, and some diesel-fuel and they'll jerry-rig a fairly potent I.E.D. Imagine them salivating at the possibility of targeting thousands of people- all of whom are participating in Western style, roller-coaster debauchery- in a single stroke.

Don't give them fodder. Baghdad is not Orlando - there are not nearly enough fat people, and the endless stream of Asian tourists looking at Magic Mountain through the lens of a camera is wholly missing. For those hoping to invest in Iraq, start with clean water, reliable power, and reasonable health care. The thrill-rides and picture booths can follow.