Thursday, January 3, 2008

Final countdown! (da-da-da da...da-da dit dit dah...)

It's now exactly half an hour before the caucuses commence, and I am going throw myself on the grenade of partisanship.  Suicide pundit, away!

It's Obama by miles!  Nope, a narrow win for Hillary!  Jesus Christ himself descended from heaven into a middle school auditorium in Des Moines to swing a precinct to Huckabee!  Or something!  I hope nobody notices that I'm just guessing, or I'll look mighty silly in tomorrow's newspaper!  Oh, wait!  Nobody reads my crap anyway!

If anybody calls this thing correctly, they got lucky.  This is a toss-up, a golf shot; a cruel, bloody roll of the dice.  The polls show a dead heat.  Do not, for even a second, believe anybody who says they knew it all along.  They are full of shit.

(Speaking of middle schools in Des Moines, my own is being featured on local news coverage.  I hope they don't subject the Democratic caucusgoers, who are in the lunchroom, to the meals I endured there.)

Here we go!

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