Thursday, February 5, 2009

What Michael Phelps Actually Should Have Said

"I have two things to say at the press conference I've called today. First, to the general public, whether I smoked marijuana at a party is none of your business. Second, to the governmental authorities, I assert my Fifth Amendment right against self-incrimination and thus have nothing to say to any of you about the photograph in question. Have a nice day, everyone. I'll see you all in 2012."

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

I don't care that he smoked up at all, but Chris you are such a tool for writing this....you suck a fat one.

Anonymous said...

The person on the comments page who said you can do whatever you want but expect the public to get their hands on pictures eventually was right.

As of this evening Phelps has lost his sponsorship with Kelogg and is benched from competing in swimming.

But totally Chris, you're so right, if Phelps was a tool and gave a press relief telling his critics to fuck off, that would have gone over so much better.

Toke on, potheads. You make the valuable stuff in life such much easier to reach for the rest of us.

Anonymous said...

"Toke on, potheads. You make the valuable stuff in life such much easier to reach for the rest of us."

Uh-oh. The cattle are growing arrogant again.

What "valuable stuff in life" are you referring to? Please elaborate in full. (Oh, this is going to be good!)