Tuesday, December 16, 2008

All I Want for Xmas...

Dear Santa,

After reading an article by Steven Shehori at The Huffingon Post, I want to amend my Xmas list I sent a while back. No longer am I interested in peace in the Middle East, a shiny new car, or the remote control from Click complete with Kate Beckinsale. I know you are busy so I wanted to give you an option on how to best give me my gift.

According to a recent Gallup/Harris poll Americans are even more stupid than previously thought. We can't even find our own country on a map consisting of... our own country. Over a third of people polled got it completely wrong. One autoworker thought it was a depiction of Iraq. (Perhaps you should reconsider bailing out that sector until they figure out where they live, or the funds may end up like a lot of other lost funds in Iraq.) Washington, D.C. was listed fifth in a poll asking for the U.S. Capitol.

So here's my proposition: I was hoping you could shift large portions of government spending from military projects to education, or just make the dumb people disappear... you're choice really. (Psst, I here Gitmo is a good place to hide people or rendition prisons also have been getting a lot of play recently) Whatever is easier; I don't want to be a pain.

Now, Santa, before you get angry and put me on the "Bad Boy" list, I do realize the article is satire. But I was really hoping you could still acquiesce to my wish because I think the Sheori piece is scarily accurate. Satire is rooted in reality. C'mon, just think of the decrease in requests for NASCAR related toys you'll receive if you grant my wish!

Best wishes,

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