Tuesday, December 9, 2008

A Black and Gold Xmas

It was, yet again, another great weekend to be a Hawkeye. A capacity crowd packed into Carver-Hawkeye Arena to watch the top-ranked Hawks beat second-ranked Iowa State. The gridiron Hawkeyes were selected to a New Year's Day bowl game. What could be better start to the holiday season? A large golden phallus.

On Friday night 250 undergraduate students from around the country poured into the Iowa City for the 8th Annual Cornshucker Challenge. The prize at stake? An erect golden ear of corn soldered to a base. All in all, the trophy stands just under two feet tall. The Corn, as it is affectionately called on the mock trial circuit, has, of course, been the subject of many inappropriate jokes over the last seven years - including three senior ladies from Oxford, Ohio intimating fellatio in front of 250 competitors. Not since it's inaugural season has the Cornshucker Challenge been won by the University of Iowa, leaving the Corn to be defiled on campuses across the country. Like the aging whore that it is, the Corn is looking used and abused. It hooks now; the kernels are tarnished; and the base and gold-leaf are worn and cracked. This past weekend was the retirement party for the Corn. She was replaced with a newer, more expensive, and double-corned trophy.

Just like at the birth of the Corn, the University of Iowa mock trial team won the Cornshucker Challenge. The team went undefeated and several students won personal awards. Congratulations to everyone and thank you to all the attorneys, law students, and non-competing mock trial members that helped out.

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